for years i've had this fantasy of becoming a mighty paterfamilias--the stoic, level headed rock that holds his chaotic family together. like bruce wayne with his bat gang, or carolyn brady on days, or rick in casa blanca. instead, i rally everyone together for thrilling "family dinner" conclaves, get remarkably jingled, and spend hours babbling about neil diamond in an unnecesarrily loud voice. so it does my heart good that, for the first time in the new millenium, the eric fox foundation has received a request for a block grant. the actual grant proposal is yet to be submitted, but i'm promised it will involve amazing hand-drawn diagrams. the whole matter was discussed through a white noise of hysteric laughter, as neither i nor the applicant could believe that i am the only person we know capable of coughing up such funds. how did i become such a billionaire industrialist? what kind of world is it where that's fair to the hard working masses? booyah indeed.
well, before retiring to count my money, i just want to mention neo, because it does my heart such good to escape to the land where prom never ends. sometimes i get there way before anyone else i know, so i can be nostalgaic and drink alone for a bit. then i hop around like an idiot for hours. as we were leaving, hannah was commenting on how offensive it was that some couple was grotesquely making out on the dance floor. folks began to discuss how neo's not a place for that sort o' thing. i started feeling guilty, wondering "does anyone here know that i'm usually the person grotesquely making out at neo?" at which point hannah commented "except when eric does it, cos then it's just funny." and then i had vivid flashbacks to all the ridiculous times we've had at neo..which made me miss lox and marcell so. but kieran has rsvp.ed to come chi town way for eric new year, and lorene is considering it. and maybe, just maybe, marcell will surprise us by flying in. he did it last year, no? it is so difficult to lord over such a far-flung family. even with my limitless fortune.
can you believe pablo and kieran, respectively, asked me to be their best man in the event of their untimely marriages?